fishing humour

Five New Fishing Quotations and Sayings: Jul 24 2013

Here we go with some wit and wisdom wrapped around fishing – quote numbers 1151 – 1155.

“I can think of nothing material that has been substantively improved for the angler in the past fifty years, except his waders”
– Gordon Wickstrom, Late in an Angler’s Life

“The choice between the rainbow – often easier to hook and harder to land, and the brown – always harder to hook and sometimes easier to land, is a matter of taste and style, and there are no rights and wrongs in the matter.”
– Te Ara Encyclopedia of New Zealand

“One man’s fish is another man’s poisson” 
– Hoo Izit

“Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won’t feel so thankful then.”
– Garrison Keillor

“When I die, I want one of life’s great mysteries revealed to me: if some slob can carry a full 12 ounce can of beer half a mile to stream, why the hell can’t he carry it out when it is empty?”
– R. Chad Chorney, Blood Knot Magazine

Now 1155 fishing quotations here.

Posted by Tony Bishop in fishing humour, fishing quotes

Fishing Simplified?

I usually try and ignore the mangled English that can sometimes be found flowing from the keyboard of people for whom English is a second language – but the following gem is from a US boat rental website, mostly in English…

“Popular Fishing Types: Choice your best.

Fly Fishing
Fly fishing is an very old and severe sort of fishing that has a unmatched way of fishing. Although this is severe in nature, but moreover a really relaxing sport. Flies are the many critical apparatus in fly fishing and flies are synthetic in nature, but shut to the originals. use of fly fishermen fishing techniques, fishing both uninformed and salt water, but of march not similar ways. Britain, Japan, North America and Australia are the places where people are going to be staunch to fly fishing.

Fishing Game
Game Fishing is popularly well known as the low sea competition fishing, competition fishing or offshore fishing offshore. This fishing is really renouned in Australia and New Zealand. In the fishing diversion fishing to grasp tuna and marlin go. The ships are about 18-21 feet are best for such adventures. In Hawaii, these boats are well known as the butterfly navy on the other palm are called “party boats in New Zealand.

River Fishing
River fishing is one thing that is really renouned amid the local race of places. This is similarly renouned and interesting as infectious fish in the sea. River fishing requires calm and a proper outline will make it even more enjoyable. If you’re on an exploit of this, then do not dont think about to project in to the place only. I will not give great results in minimal time.

Reef Fishing
The embankment refers to a shallow of rocks, coral or sand that rises nearby the aspect of a body of water. So fisherman can fish from the seaside of a sea, stream or lake. Before you go fishing on the reefs you must be have a great thought about the height of the H2O goes fishing. It is not a correct thing to fish in unknown waters, if you are out fishing on the reefs. It is appropriate to take a thick rod with you, since this sort of fishing requires a great treat of strength and infrequently the fishermen finish up violation their rods. Weather conditions and breeze citation are moreover a few special factors that you must be consider. When it comes to lures, live shrimp, crabs, mullet and a accumulation of other fish work well in this sort of fishing.”

There is more but my head hurts!

Posted by Tony Bishop in fishing humour, weird fishy stuff

My Oath–it’s pointless swearing at fish

A while ago I wrote a light-hearted article for a fishing magazine on the subject of swearing which seems to be deeply embedded in many fishermen. I thought I did  pretty good job, till I read this…

“… what all this hoop-tidoo is leading up to is the uselessness of swearing at fish. Firstly it is rude. Secondly the fish can’t hear you. A good swear is sometimes effective and even therapeutic when it is directed at a tree that has decided that it can’t live without your line; a good swear might even work (though I doubt it) when directed loud enough at a bull that has just come up to make sure you aren’t about to start chatting up one of his cows; but no amount of effing and jeffing (as my old Gran used to call it) will upset, embarrass or discombobulate the fish that has just broken you off and swum off to fight another day.

Now not only is this discourteous to our quarry, it looks and sounds daft. What is a grown man doing shouting rude words at creature with its ears full of water.

My response to such a situation is to sit down, put my head in my hands and try to remember how to breathe.  …”

– Mike Harding (The Rochdale Fluffchucker)– Fly-Fishing and Fly-Tying Magazine(UK)

Posted by Tony Bishop in fishing humour

Muddy Waters – Of Mud, Mothers, Eels and the Boy

Reading the story in my last post about a big eel attacking a trout here in New Zealand reminded me that the first story I ever wrote for New Zealand Fishing News magazine was about eels.

It was written about 22 years ago – don’t time fly! It was pretty well received way back then, so maybe it is time for a re-run. Have a read here

Posted by Tony Bishop in fishing humour, New Zealand Fishing

Assorted Fishy Weirdness

Is there something in the water? Is there an outbreak of strangeness? Your guess is as good as mine.

Crotch lobster

Oh my. While some folks are hard at work designing new marine protected areas for southern California, others are shoving lobsters down their pants. Stealing lobsters isn’t particularly difficult — wardens say it’s one of the most common poaching …

Mysterious fish said to eat people in India

It’s called a goonch, and it’s a catfish that can get really big and is said to be eating people in India and Nepal. The story is strange. The goonch probably started down the path of eating people by scavenging bodies disposed in rivers in the area,…

Holy Lures!

One of the most amazing fishing tackle stories of all-time centers on a group of Franciscan nuns in Ohio who decided to go into the tackle business. Calling their lures “St. Peter’s Fishing Lures,” they manufactured and sold a line of 16 different …

Trouser Trout Marketing

The Levi’s “unleash your beast” campaign encourages web users to create and share with friends animated images of phallic creatures popping out of 501 jeans. The American Decency Association is calling for a boycott.

Posted by Tony Bishop in fishing humour, weird fishy stuff

Caught Any? Again!

A girl in ripped t-shirt, tattoos and piercings (obviously a grunge rock fan ) is fishing at the river listening to her iPod.

A guy passes and asks “caught any, love?”

“No,” she replies “Nirvana.”

Another from John R in the UK, well, Ireland to be more specific.

Posted by Tony Bishop in fishing humour

Flyfishmagazine: Dont be that guy….

A story for all fishermen, salt and fresh water……

Via MaineToday comes a story of fly fishing conversation etiquette. I think we all have met that guy…
“I caught a 22-inch rainbow yesterday,” he offered, with nothing else. I could see he was waiting for me to, pardon the pun, take the bait.
He waited a few seconds, maybe 10, and took a quick puff of his cigarette.
“Not here, you know.”
I just nodded, and he puffed again.

He then went into a long litany of where he’d been fishing, how many fish he’d caught and how long they all were. To hear him tell it, he’d filled an entire wall with trophy-sized mounts — all from the last six days!

He caught a brown out of China Lake. “You know that’s open, right?”
He caught splake by the bucketful near Bingham. “They’re all, like, 15-24 inches up there.”
And then there was the rainbow.

“Oh, they’re biting all right. You just got to know where to go.”

I guess the only fisherman I hate to be accosted by as much as the guy above is the old, “Ya should ‘av been here yesterday” guy, who then proceeds to tell you in meticulous detail, why. Just what you need when the fishing today is hard.

Don’t Be That Guy

Posted by Tony Bishop in fishing humour

New Fishing Quotes and Sayings – Feb 14, 2008

I recently added 10 new quotes and sayings to the  quotes page, bringing the total to 640.

Of the new quotes, this one caught my eye, a rather good twist on and old quote:

“Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he’ll eat for weeks!”

– Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata, Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005